Boho Days
by x Rajah x
Summary: Little oneshot. ALL BOHOS FEATURED. The Bohemians, one night at the Life, sing about being the cool Bohos they are after a Benny encounter. [Songfic to Boho Days from tick,tick... BOOM!] :


Title: Boho Days

Rating: T

Genre: Humor/General

Summary: The Bohos at the Life Café, singing about the wonderful Bohemian Life. [The song Boho Days from _tick, tick… BOOM!_ Just a random little oneshot. All Bohos featured!

Notes:

This is, I believe, my fourth oneshot in the matter of a week's time. ;) And _tick, tick… BOOM!_ is awesome. Also: I changed the words at some parts to fit RENT, like "Dino" to "Benny" in the song. I practically changed a whole stanza so it would make sense. Just so you know. I couldn't ignore how much this fit our Bohos. YAY!

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_It's all Maureen's fault… _Roger thought darkly. _As it USUALLY is._

Mark had had a little too much to drink that night. More accurately, he'd had more than a few too many shots, and everyone knew that Mark Cohen didn't handle his alcohol very well.

Roger merely watched, only himself to be internally highly amused as his friend danced atop the table with Maureen and Joanne, slurring his words in the most un-dignified manner.

Next to Him, Mimi was snuggled into his shoulder, giggling at Mark's antics. Collins and Angel sat across from them, drinking and laughing as well.

Maureen, with a raucous yell, pushed another full glass into Mark's hands, some of the liquid sloshing onto his striped scarf.

"Egads!" Mark screamed, "Maureen…_neeneeennnieee!" _He whined, his words tripping over themselves. "Me… my, my… that's my SCARFY!"

Maureen kissed him playfully on the cheek, and Joanne scowled slightly out of the corner of her eye. "Aw, Marky, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"_Zee_ Easter Bunny gave me _dat…_" Mark croaked, "For Hanukkah last year, when I was just a boy!"

Collins erupted into uproarious laughter, nearly spitting out half of the gulp he'd just taken. Angel laughed as the alcohol dribbled unceremoniously down his chin, grabbing a paper napkin and wiping it off.

"Isn't that right, Roger…?" Mark demanded, pointing to Joanne. "You were there, you SAW Collins eat my cookies. Tell them you saw!"

Joanne nodded, trying not to laugh, then said in a deep voice, "Yes… I saw, and you're damn right, that Collins is one tricky son of the bitch."

Her Roger impression didn't fail to amuse the other Bohemians. Mark nodded, his eyes rolling drunkenly. "Hooray! Happy Mother's Day… kiss me MAMA!" And with that, he planted a huge one on Roger, which caused him to shudder and back up, toppling his chair.

"Ow." Roger said from the floor.

"Nice going, Davis!" Maureen jeered, as Mimi helped him up, Roger wiping his face with his sleeve.

"I had forgotten why you guys said never to give Mark anything alcoholic." Angel said, grinning behind her hand.

"But it's _sooooo_ funny!" Maureen insisted, refilling Mark's glass.

"Have it your way." Mimi giggled, "As long as Mark doesn't come pining after _MY_ boyfriend."

"He's not going to remember any of this." Collins pointed out. "He's also going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

"I'll be sure to remember to bring my pickle tub so I can play him a song to cheer him up then." Angel said gleefully.

Roger patted the silently filming camera set on the table. "He may not remember it, but we have proof."

Mimi giggled and Maureen's eyes became the size of saucers. "Roger… I'm so PROUD of you… you… you're thinking… LIKE ME!" And she hugged him.

"Mo, did you have too much to drink, too?" Roger said, taken aback.

"Nah," Maureen quipped. "You've never seen me drunk, Davis. It takes a lot."

"Hey _guyyyyyssssssss! Guyssssssssssss! Ssss…guysss…ssssss!" _Mark yelled, waving his arms around. "Lookit me! I'm a falcon… TWEET TWEET!" And with that, he leapt from the table, arms spread.

_THUMP._

"Erghhhh… soldier down." Mark moaned.

"Clean up on aisle 7!" Mimi exclaimed, leaning forward and slapping the table.

"Aisle 7?" Angel questioned; ever-shopping savvy. "Isn't that the aisle where they keep farm fresh veggies and fruits?"

"Well, yeah." Collins said, eyeing Mark. "We've got some major albino pumpkinhead damage on our hands."

The waiter came over, hand on his hips, looking most displeased, as always.

"I'm sorry folks, but if you cannot contain your intoxicated buddy here, you're going to have to leave."

"Can't touch this…!" Mark sang happily, climbing back onto the table and doing the Robot.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but aren't we always like this, even without alcoholic beverages?" Collins said, mock-politely.

"Look, now I don't want to cause a fuss." The waiter said, "But you are tampering with our restaurant atmosphere."

"Look now, I don't want to be the one to break it to you, bud." Roger said, putting a hand on the waiter's shoulder. "But you have a giant stick up your ass! You might wanna get that… _taken care of."_

The waiter, outraged, turned on his heel and marched away. "Don't say I didn't warn you!"

The Bohemians sent each other scared looks before cracking up.

"Roger." An all-too-familiar voice rang in their ears. Benny stood at the foot of the table. "Don't you think that was a little rude?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do." Roger said, holding Mimi to him. "Which is exactly why I said it, Benjamin."

"Charming." Benny commented dryly. "And what, may I ask, are a group of slackers like you doing here, 'tampering with the restaurant atmosphere'?"

"CUSTARD, WEEEEEEE!" Mark zipped over to Benny. "Hola, Monsieur, may I shine your shoes?"

"Um…" Benny started.

"Heehee… there you are, kind Sir." Marky tittered, dumping the remainder of his beer over Benny's head and blowing on his bald scalp. "Look at that, shinin' like new! You is… BLESSED, Sir, you is BLESSED."

Benny, sputtering, eyed the laughing Bohemians and the overly joyful Mark. "I cannot _BELIEVE _I used to call you all FRIENDS... used to LIVE like you do… used to be such a fool!"

Mark patted Benny's coat kindly. "Such is life in Bohemia, Miss Nesbitt. Like it or lump it, love it or leave it…"

"Embrace it or dump it, just never DECIEVE it!" Roger finished high-fiving Mark.

Mark looked at his hand after slapping Roger's.

"Nice one, man." Roger clapped Mark on the back.

Mark squinted at Roger. "Who are you?"

Benny, disgusted, left the Life Café then, scowling up a storm. No, more like a _cyclone_.

"We don't miss you, Benny!" Maureen called. "I've had many a roommate in New York and so have Marky and Roger, but NONE of them have been as bad, or as much of an ass-wipe AS YOU!"

"True dat, true dat!" Collins cheered.

_"Don't step on Simon, Renaud and Phillipe!"_ Maureen sang, starting to tick off names. _"They're still on the living room floor asleep!"_

Everyone began to clap their hands, starting a beat.

"_Flight was delayed,"_ Collins put in, _"But they got it so cheap in Amsterdam!!"_

The taller man joined Mark, Maureen and Joanne on the table, spinning joyfully.

Mimi, always loving a chance to dance, climbed from Roger's lap to the table, and Angel soon followed. _"The cat jumped off of the fire escape!"_

_"He's a little shook up."_ Angel assured everyone. _"But he don't have a scrape!!"_

_Poor Lucy, _Roger thought, remembering Mimi telling him the story of her cat. _And what's Angel doing, she is the one that made a DOG fall twenty-some stories!!_

Angel, reading Roger's thoughts, shook her head and laughed.

"_Climb up to the roof!"_ Mimi said to Roger was he joined them on the table.  
_"Let's make a crepe!"_ Roger exclaimed, causing Mark to giggle drunkenly.  
_"You bring the jam!" _Mark said, stabbing Roger in the chest with a random fork. _"This is the life!"_ Collins sang, stretching his arms out.

"_Bo bo, bo bo bo!"_ Angel added.  
_"This is the life!"_ Maureen yelled.

"_Bo bo, bo bo bo!"_ Joanne followed Angel's lead.  
_"This is the life!"_ Roger jumped in.

"_Bo bo, bo bo bo!"_ Mimi kicked her legs out, and shook her hips.  
_"Bohemia!!!" _Mark squealed, jumping into Collins' arms. "Spin me!"

Collins, not at all hesitant, grabbed Mark and spun him around.

"Yayyyyyyyyyyy!" Mark said triumphantly.

Angel, twirling nearby, continued, _"Shower's in the kitchen!"_

"_There might be some soap!" _Collins said, releasing Mark with a shrug.

"_Dishes in the sink…"_ Maureen said, pulling Joanne into her arms and singing.

"…_brush your teeth, if you can cope!"_ Mimi finished for her, flouncing over to Roger.

"_Toilet's in the closet…you better hope…" _Roger said with a laugh. _"There's a light bulb in there, bo bo bo!"_

_"Benny called yesterday!!"_ Angel called out, as if in warning, _"The rent is overdue!!"_

_"Con Ed and New York Telephone are mad too!!" _Collins added, looking pointedly at Mark and Roger.

Mark pulled Roger over and they looked at each other, smiling as they each thought the same thing. _"Better screen the calls for a day or two." _They said together. _Or forever, _Roger thought slyly.

_"Or… cough up your share!" _Mimi demanded, scrunching her face up and using her best "Benny" voice.

_"This is the life, bo bo, bo bo bo!" _Mimi, Maureen, and Angel said, waving their arms around.

_"This is the life, bo bo, bo bo bo!" _Their respective partners echoed, hugging them from behind, leaving Mark sloppily pulling some of his famous spastic dance moves. In the corner of the restaurant, the waiter was sulking.

_"This is the life, bo bo, bo bo bo!" _Mark was astonishingly able to put together the sentence without too much stumbling. _"Bohemia!!"_

"_Revolving door roommates…"_ Collins started, _"Prick up your ears!!"_  
_"Fourteen people in just four years." _Roger added, smiling.

The Bohemians began to tick off the names of every roommate they'd ever had.  
_"Ann and Max and Jonathan!"_ Maureen remembered.

"_And Jonathan and Kerri!"_ Roger added to her list.  
_"David, Tim…"_ Collins began.

"_No, Tim was just a guest!"_ Roger corrected, _"From June to January!"_  
_"Margaret, Lisa, David, Susie…"_ Mimi remembered, winking at Angel.  
_"Stephen, Joe and Sam…!"_ Angel recalled.  
_"And Benny, the Westport bitch's dream…!" _Collins said.

"_But we don't give a DAMN!" _Angel screamed proudly.

She pranced around, upending several chairs with her routine.

"…_don't forget the neighbors!!"_ Collins exclaimed, _"Mimi…"_

He pointed to the dancer, and she blew him a kiss.

"…_Barb and Gay!" _Mark shouted. _"More like a family than a family, hey!"_

"_The cats!"_ Mimi insisted, bringing her beloved former pets into the picture. She was known to bring in stray cats and keep them as her own. _"Lucy, Mr. Beebee! Bouncer, rest his soul! And Finster, who took one look and stayed for days down _

_in that hole!"_

"_This is the life, bo bo, bo bo bo! This is the life, bo bo, bo bo bo!"_ Mimi and Angel chorused together.  
_"This is the life, bo bo, bo bo bo!"_ Maureen said with a dramatic flourish.

"_Bohemia!!" _Good old Mark, contributing… as he chugged another glass.

The Bohemians took this time to dance and make merry, throwing funny looks in the waiter's direction as they moved about the table.

Then, Roger took the head of the table, ready for his ultimate Benny impersonation. Clearing his throat, he began in his deep, Benny voice, walking around the table, and almost tripping over and imaginary curb. _"The garbage trucks have turned into limousines!" _He sang, patting Collins' shoulder. _"Rat infested diners now are fancy restaurants!" _He gestured to their surroundings.

_"The gallery opens…you know what that means…" _Angel said sadly to Roger.

_"There goes the neighborhood…here come the debutantes!" _Roger answered; most Benny-like, throwing piercing looks in Mimi's direction. She laughed and pretended to be disgusted.

_"But at Avenue A, the halls are still that dingy brown."_ Collins sang, draping an arm across Angel's shoulders.

_"Avenue A, the walls are cracked or falling down!" _Mimi came over to Roger as he faded from his Benny imitation and she placed a kiss to his lips.

_"Avenue A, we all know the day it changes is the day we all should blow this town!"_ Maureen said, earning a cheer from the other Bohos.

_"The time is flying, and everything is dying…" _Roger stated, clinging to Mimi.

_"I thought by now I'd have a dog, a kid…"_ Mark glared at Maureen as she laughed. _"…and wife."_

_"The ship is sort of sinking, so let's start drinking…"_ Collins took a sip from his glass, and finished, _"Before we start thinking, is this a life?"_

_"Is this a life? Bo bo, bo bo bo!" _Mimi asked, smoothing out her skirt and glancing at Roger.

_"Is this a life? No no, no no no!"_ Angel said playfully, kissing Collins' cheek.

_"Is this a life?, bo bo, bo bo bo!!" _All the Bohemians sang together, getting ready for the finale.

_"BOHEMIA!"_ Mark screamed into an old lady's ear.

"Uh… maybe we you should take him home." Collins said with a laugh.  
_"BOHEMIA!" _Mark began to chuck balled up napkins at the other tables.

"MARK!" Angel called.

"_Bo-he-mi-a!!!!!" _Mark sang off-key, fluttering over to his friends. _"Bo, bo, bo, bo."_ He whispered.

"C'mon, Marky, it's time for us to get going." Collins told him.

"Okay…" Mark said grudgingly.

"Can you walk?" Roger asked, steadying Mark as he tumbled.

Mark looked up at Roger. Squinting, he studied Roger's face. "Who are you?"

"HAHAHAAHAH!" Maureen laughed, and Joanne put an arm around her waist.

"Let's just… go home." Roger said, fighting his own laughter.

"Okay, Leslie." Mark said, calm-as-ever, with a straight face.

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Teeheee. I LOVE THAT SONG.

Okay, so my documnet manager went screwy, so if the alignment is weird, I TRIED TO FIX IT. :(

ANYWAY!!!!!! Yay, Jonathan Larson.

So reviews? PLEASE? No flames though. BE NICE!

Hooray.


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